Demigods and Gods Read the Future: The Lightning Thief
by PercabethReyPotter
Summary: The demigods from Camp Half-Blood are sent back in time to Mount Olympus to read the exploits of a certain Percy Jackson along with the Gods... The rest, as they say, is history! Set a year after Thalia was transformed into a pine tree. The demigods are from after the end of Son Of Neptune.
1. Chapter 1: Introductions

**Demigods and Gods Read The Future: Lightning Thief**

Disclaimer: I do not own the text from Percy Jackson books or any of the characters.

It's my first FanFic, so here goes!

Read and Review!

**Chapter 1: Introductions**

It was a week after the Winter Solstice. All was normal on Mount Olympus, well, as normal as things could be on the abode of the gods, 600 floors above the mortal world.

All the gods were in their realms or attending to their daily work, when suddenly a klaxon wail sounded throughout Olympus. It was the intruder alarm for the throne room.

Immediately, Zeus, Apollo, Athena, Demeter, Ares, Hephaestus, Aphrodite and Dionysus, all of whom were on Mount Olympus, flashed into the throne room. A second later, Artemis, Poseidon, Hermes and Hades flashed into the throne room as well.

"Hades!" exclaimed Zeus and Poseidon. "Brother, what are you doing here?" asked Zeus, as the Lord of the Dead's obsidian throne appeared next to Poseidon's.

"You mean you don't know?! I thought _you_ had me flashed here!" said Hades, appearing quite bewildered.

"No I did not. What the Hades is going on here? Where is the intruder?" asked a perturbed Zeus.

"I think I found our 'intruder'… It is this package right here." said Hermes, pointing towards a large package on a table in the middle of the throne room which, in all the excitement over Hades' appearance, had gone unnoticed.

"Hermes, what childish joke is this? We all have business to attend to." said Artemis, scowling in irritation.

"As much as I would like to be the one behind this prank, " began Hermes, his eyes twinkling, "I have no idea how that package got here."

"But then how-" Athena was cut short by a bright flash of light above the table. As the light dimmed, the gods saw a note gently land on the package.

Apollo, being the closest to the table, picked it up and read it out loud.

"_The package on the table is a set of books about the future, titled Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Its purpose is to prepare you for future events. Time will come to a standstill on Olympus until the books are finished. None of the gods present at this moment can leave the palace until after the books are completed-and that includes you Dionysus, so don't try to sneak out."_

As all the gods turned as one, they saw said god frozen in his tracks trying to make his way out of the throne room.

"Wow, this guy sure knows us well." commented Hermes, chuckling at Dionysus' now red face.

"_Some special guests from the future will be joining you in reading these books. No matter what happens in the books, do not harm any of them and do not ask them anything about the future. All will be revealed eventually. _Signed-" Apollo stopped, and grinned. "Oh look, it's from the future me! Ha! I rock!" he exclaimed doing a happy dance.

"Oh grow up, Apollo!" exclaimed Artemis, glaring at her brother. "Now where are these guests the note talked about?"

As if on cue, a blinding light filled the room. Gradually, it faded, leaving in its wake a group of what appeared to be confused teenagers in a tangle of limbs on the floor.

"What the Hades just happened?"

"Where are we? Are we on-"

"Olympus! Great! Now what do they want from us?!"

"Ow, Connor, your elbow is in my face!"

"We are never gonna finish the ship at this rate!"

After a few moments of utter chaos and muffled groans, one of the teens stood up with her dagger drawn. She was tall, with blond hair, stormy grey eyes and an air of assertiveness about her.

"Everybody stop talking and stand up!" she yelled above the noise.

The other teens obeyed, getting to their feet and standing before the shell shocked gods.

"Lord Zeus, why are we here? What is it

"Who are you? Introduce yourselves." thundered Zeus.

"Lord Zeus and other gods, we are all demigods. I am Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena-"

"And the Architect of Olympus" interjected a skinny boy with an upturned nose and a mischievous smile on his face.

"Connor!" yelled another girl, a redhead.

"Connor-" "-and Travis" "Stoll, sons of Hermes, at your service." said the boy and another standing next to him, together, grinning at Hermes.

"Chris Rodriguez, also son of Hermes."

Hermes smiled at his three children. "You boys look so grown up!" he exclaimed.

A pale boy wearing dark jeans, a black t-shirt and a black aviator jacket came forward next. "Nico Di Angelo, son of Hades and the Ghost King." he said, bowing.

"N-Nico?" spluttered Hades. "How did you-"

"HADES!" exploded Zeus. "You broke the oath?!"

"Brother, what is this?" asked Poseidon in a much calmer voice.

"Okay, everybody relax," said Annabeth, coming forward. "Lord Zeus, Lord Hades has not broken the oath. Nico was sired 70 years ago."

"But he is so young!"

"Zeus, do you remember Maria?"asked Hades, his eyes filling with pain, "Nico is her son."

"Impossible! I had to kill them!" exclaimed Zeus.

"I saved my children. Maria, however…" Hades trailed off despondently.

"Hades, brother, I'm sorry for what happened that day. I truly am." said Zeus, lowering his head in shame. "Demigods, continue…"

"Grover Underwood, satyr, Lord of The Wild."

"You!" roared Zeus, "It is because of you that my little girl-"

"Is alive today." interrupted Thalia, "Father. Thalia Grace, daughter of Zeus and Lieutenant to Lady Artemis."

"How is this possible?" asked a stunned Zeus.

"Remember what the note said, father? All will be explained." said Athena, in a calm voice.

"Note? What note?" asked another demigod, who looked like a Latino elf. "I'm Leo by the way, Leo Valdez. Son of Hephaestus and Supreme Commander Of The ArgoII!" he continued, grinning.

Zeus quickly explained the purpose of the demigods' presence at Olympus and handed Annabeth the package to open.

"The future? Wow, okay, this is officially super weird!" muttered Connor to his bother.

"I'm Piper Mclean, daughter of Aphrodite." said a beautiful girl with multicoloured eyes, bowing before the gods.

Ah, Piper, thought Aphrodite, smiling proudly at her daughter, she has certainly turned out wonderfully!

"Clarisse La Rue, daughter of Ares and slayer of the drakon."

"The drakon?" asked Ares. When she nodded, he grinned wickedly at her, "That's my girl!"

"Katie Gardner, daughter of Demeter."

"Jason Grace, son of Jupiter, praetor of the Twelfth Legion, Fulminata."

As the last of the demigods stepped forward, the gods' jaws dropped and their forms flickered. What was a Roman demigod doing with Greeks?

As if reading their thoughts, Nico smiled grimly, "The future is messed up... You'll see."

"Well, now that the introductions are done with, let's begin to read shall we? Daughter of Athena, would you like to begin?" said Zeus

"Annabeth?" said Thalia worriedly, gently nudging her best friend. But Annabeth could only stare mutely at the book in her hands, her jaw locked as though she was trying not to cry.

Thalia read the title of the book over her shoulder. "Oh" she gasped softly.

Out loud, she said "I will read first."

Gently prying the book from Annabeth's frozen hands, she read the title out loud

"The first book is _Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief"_

-X-


	2. Chapter 2

**So here is chapter 1... Thoughts are in italics. I own nothing in bold; neither do I own any of the characters.**

**Enjoy! And don't forget to review, guys! This is my first fic, so I could really use some comments and criticism...**

**Rey**

"The first book is _Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief" _read Thalia.

All the demigods turned to gape at the book. All the colour had drained from Annabeth's face as she stared straight ahead. It had been months since any of them had set eyes on the son of Poseidon.

Poseidon looked worriedly at his brothers. _What will they do when they find out that Percy is my son, _he wondered.

"Chapter **1 – I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher**" continued Thalia, after a brief pause.

**Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.**

"Join the club," muttered most of the demigods. The gods heard this and frowned. _How bad was the future?_

**If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is:**

"Oh this should be good," said Thalia, smirking.

**close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth and try to lead a normal life.**

"… That's actually pretty good," said Nico, looking surprised.

**Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful nasty ways.**

All the demigods looked down at this, remembering the siblings they had lost in the war.

**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened. **

"Pah!" exclaimed Zeus, "Do we look like fiction to you, boy?"

"You do know that you are talking to a book right?" asked Hermes, grinning as the king of gods coloured.

"He only meant that being a half-blood is a difficult burden to shoulder, Lord Zeus." explained Annabeth.

Athena's brow furrowed. _Why was her daughter defending the sea spawn?_

**But if you recognize yourself in these pages- if you feel something stirring inside-**

"Do you feel something stirring inside you?" asked Nico, in an eerie voice, sneaking up behind the Stolls, making them jump and glare at him.

"Nico, shut up." said Thalia, glowering at her cousin, before continuing.

**stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before **_**they **_**sense it too, and they'll come for you.**

**Don't say I didn't warn you.**

"Don't even think about it." warned Artemis, as Hermes, Apollo and the Stolls opened their mouths. They quickly closed their mouths.

**My name is Percy Jackson.**

Annabeth looked down at her hands. _Where are you Seaweed Brain? I miss you.. _

Aphrodite straightened in her throne as she felt a wave of love sweep across the throne room.

**I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

**Am I a troubled kid?**

"Yes!" chorused all the demigods except Jason, Leo and Piper, as Annabeth and Poseidon glared at them, which did not go unnoticed by Athena.

**Yeah. You could say that.**

'See, he says so himself." said Nico, spreading his hands for emphasis.

**I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan-twenty eight mental-case kids two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum Of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.**

"Uggh!" came the reaction from the demigods.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea for a field trip." said Annabeth and Athena at the same time. Annabeth looked at her mother and blushed.

**I know-it sounds like torture. **

Hermes and Apollo nodded so hard, their heads were in danger of coming off. Athena scowled at the book.

**Most Yancy field trips were.**

**But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.**

**Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. **

"Sounds like Chiron." said Zeus. All the gods turned to look expectantly at Dionysus, who seemed to be dozing on his throne.

"Dionysus!" exclaimed Zeus.

"Yes, that is Chiron," said Dionysus in a bored voice, without bothering to crack open an eye.

**You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armour and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.**

"Awesome!" exclaimed the Stolls and Chris.

**I hoped this trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

"Yeah right," snorted most of the demigods, "Percy doesn't find trouble, trouble finds him." said Grover. Poseidon paled at this.

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had an accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway. **

"Sweet!" exclaimed a certain son of Hephaestus. "Annabeth, can we-""No!"

"Aww man!" said Leo, pouting.

**And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the long lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim... And the time before that…. Well, you get the idea. **

"NOOO! I want to hear more," whined Travis.

**This trip, I was determined to be good.**

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter and ketchup sandwich.**

All the women in the room gagged at this. Even some of the boys didn't look so good.

**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. **

"Wimp!" muttered Clarisse. Grover glared at her.

**He must have been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from P.E for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should have seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"Foolish satyr, way to blow your cover!" said Zeus, amidst chuckles from the half-bloods, looking disdainfully at Grover, whom he still had not forgiven.

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do an6ything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death **

"What?!" growled Poseidon, as the gods looked at him curiously. "Please let me finish, Lord Poseidon," said Thalia, amused.

**by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip. **"Oh..." said Poseidon, embarrassed.

"Kelp-for-Brains, why do you care so much about this boy?" asked Athena.

Poseidon glared at her, and then sighed. _Damn that woman, why did she have to figure everything out?_

"I suppose you will find out eventually, but Perseus Jackson is my son." said Poseidon, wearily.

"WHAT?! You broke the oath!?" roared his furious brothers.

"Oh please, you are hardly ones to talk, seeing as your own children are sitting in this room." snapped Poseidon.

"Brothers, please do not fight, we were given these books to read for a reason, I'm sure." said Hestia, softly. "All three gods looked at her and subsided into silence.

"Continue Thalia," said Artemis, smiling at her lieutenant.

"**I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.**

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."**

"That's it satyr," muttered Poseidon, "Keep my boy out of trouble."

Athena looked at Poseidon in surprise. '_He really cares about this child. He is a good father and a good man.' _she thought, and then blushed. _Where had that come from?_

**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.**

"**That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.**

"Wimpy satyr," growled Ares, polishing his sword.

"**You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."**

**Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**

Poseidon paled. "What happens to him?" he asked the demigods.

"You know we can't tell you, Lord Poseidon, we are sorry." said Annabeth, looking apologetic.

**Mr. Brunner led the museum tour. He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-gold pottery. It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

"Longer." said the gods.

**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.**

_Wow, the boy is actually trying to listen_, thought Athena.

**Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. **

_Hmm… why does she sound familiar? _wondered Hades.

**She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

**From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.**

"She needs to eat more cereal," said Demeter, meditatively.

Hades and Nico just looked at her, shaking their heads in disbelief.

**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."**

"Oh gods..." said Poseidon, clutching the arms of his throne.

_Alecto, _thought Hades, _Poseidon is going to send me to Tartarus!_

**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.**

**Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?"**

"Yeah, you tell her Percy!" cheered the demigods.

**It came out louder than I meant it to.**

"Of course it did, Fish Face," said Thalia, interrupting herself.

**The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.**

**"Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"**

**My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."**

**Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"**

**I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"**

"Of all the scenes, it had to be that one." groaned Hades.

**"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because ..."**

**"Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and -"**

"GOD!" exploded Zeus, as lightning crackled outside the throne room.

"Peace brother, he is still unfamiliar with the ways of our world. Chiron will correct him, I'm sure." said Poseidon calmly.

**"God?" Mr. Brunner asked.**

**"Titan," I corrected myself. **

"See..."

**"And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters -"**

**"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.  
**"Agreed," said the unfortunate victims, grimacing in distaste at the memory.

"**- and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**

Dead silence in the throne room. "Did he just-" began Hermes. "Summarise the biggest, most catastrophic war in the history of the world in one sentence?" finished Zeus, "Yes, yes he did."

"Well it would have been too long any other way, I suppose." said Athena. Poseidon looked at her, eyebrows raised. _Why did she support him, knowing he was his son?_ He decided not to bring it up for the time being.

**Some snickers from the group.**

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"**

"Stupid mortal…" muttered the demigods.

**"And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

"Busted!" said Jason and Leo together.

**"Busted," Grover muttered.**

"Oh gods, Jason we think like a goat!" said Leo, swooning dramatically.

"Satyr. Not goat, satyr." Said Grover, glaring at the son of Hephaestus.

**"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.**

**At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

"Ultimate prank ruiner!" whined Travis.

"Travis, you do know that ruiner is not a word, right?" said Katie, raising an eyebrow at him and smiling.

"Uh… umm…", stammered Travis, unable to take his eyes away from her smile. "Well, now it is!" he said, recovering, as he stuck his tongue out and grinned at her.

Katie just shook her head at him and turned back towards Thalia. _Gods, he was so stupid… and cute… _

**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."**

**"I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"**

"Happy, yeah right!" snorted Apollo.

**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.**

"All men ARE doofuses." said Artemis.

"Heyyy…" complained the male population in the throne room.

**Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."**

**I knew that was coming.**

**I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"**

**Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go - intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"Much older, son. Much, much older." Said Poseidon.

**"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.**

**"About the Titans?"**

**"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."**

**"Oh."**

**"What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."**

"Gee… Tough.." said Hephaestus.

"Oh please, the kid's a wimp." sneered Ares.

**I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.**

"It's for your own good, Percy." said Hestia softly.

**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. **

"COOL!"

**But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C - in my life. No - he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.**

The demigods grimaced. Dyslexia sucked.

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.**

"He probably was." said Aphrodite.

**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**

"Whoa, Uncle P, father, why are you guys so mad?!" exclaimed Apollo.

"No idea."

**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.**

"She one of yours, Lord Hermes?" asked Leo, winking mischievously.

"Hades no!" said Hermes, shuddering.

**Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school - the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

"You're-"

"Not a loser-"

"Percy!" chorused the demigods, including, surprisingly, Clarisse.

_A true and noble hero, it seems, _thought Hestia, _he has won over all his friends._

**"Detention?" Grover asked.**

**"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean - I'm not a genius."**

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**

Grover blushed as the entire room erupted into laughter.

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. **

"Mamma's boy." muttered Ares and his daughter.

"Shut up Ares!" said Aphrodite, throwing a stiletto at his head.

**I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

"Aww…" said most of the females in the room.

_Maybe this boy is different from the others, _thought Artemis.

**Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table.**

"Cool! Dad, can you teach me how to make one of those?" asked Leo, jumping up and down on the spot, much to the amusement of the others.

"Sure, son." said Hephaestus, smiling warmly at his son.

**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends - I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists - and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

"Eurgh! That is just plain gross!" said Piper, a revolted expression on her face.

**"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

Aphrodite paled. "I think I'm going to be sick! Not even I can rectify that-that abomination!"

**I tried to stay cool. The school counsellor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

"We get that he is Barnacle Beard's son. Does he _have_ to keep making ocean references?" asked Hades.

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

"Whoa! Cool!"

**Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.**

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see - "**

**" - the water - "**

**" - like it grabbed her - "**

Poseidon smiled smugly. His son was very powerful.

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

**As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey - "**

_Ugh, I hate it when she does that_, thought Nico.

Meanwhile, Hades was getting really nervous about Poseidon's reaction.

**"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

"NOO! Rule no. 31, never, EVER guess your punishment!" groaned Hermes and his sons.

"There's a rule book?" asked Jason.

"Oh yes there is! The holy grail of every son of Hermes." said Chris, as his father sat up on his throne and struck a pose for the wild, adoring fans. (Fantasy)

"Figures." muttered Artemis, facepalming.

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"Uh… DUH!" said Apollo.

**"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

**"Wait!" Grover yelped. It was me. I pushed her."**

"Brave satyr." said Hestia, smiling kindly at a blushing Grover.

**I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.**

"Don't blame you, G-man." said Nico.

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

Connor and Travis started whispering amongst themselves excitedly.

_Uh-oh, _thought Grover.

**"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

**"But - "**

**"You - will - stay - here."**

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

**"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

**"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now."**

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.**

"Very scary Prissy!" sneered Clarisse.

"Oh please, even you have to admit, Percy's glares are a bit freaky! Not even death breath's glare is that bad!" said Thalia.

"…Hey!" exclaimed Nico, shooting said glare at his cousin.

"Yeah, there is a reason the Poseidon cabin doesn't get pranked!" said Connor, as the Stolls shuddered at the memory.

**Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

**How'd she get there so fast?**

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counsellor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

"Ignorant mortal, it's the Mist!"

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after Mrs. Dodds.**

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**

"No! Chiron should have been keeping an eye on Percy!" said Poseidon, his knuckles white as he clutched his trident.

**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

"You wish, punk!" said Ares, his eyes shining. Finally, some excitement.

**But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for us, the gallery was empty.**

"No, no, no, no, no…" chanted Poseidon.

**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it...**

**"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

"Observant." commented Artemis.

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**

"Think again, demigod." said Demeter. By now all the gods had realized that this was a monster, though which one…?

**I said, "I'll - I'll try harder, ma'am."**

**Thunder shook the building.**

**"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

"Confess to what?" asked Zeus.

"You will find out soon, Lord Zeus." said Nico gravely. (NO PUN INTENDED!)

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. **

"Nice, Percy!" said Chris, as the Stolls and Leo nodded. Even Jason had to crack a smile.

**Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

"Now he has, hasn't he Annie?" asked Connor, waggling his brows suggestively.

"Yes he has… Connor?"

"Yes, Annie?"

"Tell me, do you like the taste of celestial bronze in your mouth?" asked Annabeth, calmly examining her knife.

Connor gulped. "No ma'am."

"Then stop calling me Annie." she said, giving him a super scary stare.

"Y-yes ma'am."

"Good boy. Thals," she continued, over the laughter in the throne room, "Please resume reading"

**"Well?" she demanded.**

**"Ma'am, I don't..."**

**"Your time is up," she hissed.**

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**

All the gods gasped.

"HADES!" screamed Poseidon, lunging at the God of the Dead, "You-sent-a-FURY-after-my-son?!" he yelled, punctuating each word with a punch.

It took a while, but finally, the other gods managed to pull a still shaking Poseidon off of Hades, who was bleeding ichor from a cut in his lip.

**Then things got even stranger.**

"Is that even possible?" asked Leo.

**Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.**

**"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

"A pen? Of what use is that?" asked Jason, disbelief written across his face.

**Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.**

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword - Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**

Leo whistled, "Awesome! It's just like your coin Jason!"

**Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.**

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

"Wi-" Ares began, but got blasted by icy seawater before he could finish.

**She snarled, "Die, honey!"**

**And she flew straight at me.**

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

"Yeah, because everyone naturally swings a sword to fight a monster!" came a comment from the peanut gallery.

**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!**

**Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

"NO WAY!"

"A Fury was his first kill?!" asked Piper, incredulously.

"Yep." said Annabeth, smiling proudly. _That's my Seaweed Brain!_

Jason was also grudgingly in awe of Percy, though he didn't like the way all his friends seemed to worship the demigod.

**I was alone.**

**There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.**

"He is _still _letting the mist affect him!"

**Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.**

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.**

"Magic mushrooms! Connor-"

"Pull anything, and your heads will hang next to Seymour!" warned Annabeth.

**Had I imagined the whole thing?**

"Nopety nope!" sang Apollo. Artemis sighed before smacking him on the head. _How was this _moron_ her three thousand year old, immortal, god brother?!_

**I went back outside.**

**It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

"Who?" asked Poseidon.

**I said, "Who?"**

"Like father, like son it seems, Kelp Head." said Athena, as the others chuckled.

"Why, thank you Athena, that makes me feel quite proud and honoured actually!" said Poseidon, one hundred percent sincerely.

Athena was rendered speechless. _I did not expect that.. A mocking rejoinder perhaps, but that… was quite mature of Coral Breath._

**"Our teacher. Duh!"**

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.**

**She just rolled her eyes and turned away.**

**I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

"Grover!" groaned the demigods.

"Boys, make sure you teach this satyr how to lie." Hermes instructed his sons.

"Done, dad!" said Travis, scribbling in a small notepad.

**"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."**

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

**I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.**

**I went over to him.**

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."**

"Now Chiron on the other hand…" said Apollo.

**I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

**"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"**

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

**"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"**

"That's the way Chiron! He is a MASTER!"

"That's the end of the chapter, guys." said Thalia, shutting the book.

"Good! I'm starving!" complained Leo, patting his stomach.

"We will have lunch after the next chapter, boy." said Zeus, "Until then- Demeter, can you give him some cookies?"

"Of course." Said Demeter, summoning a plate of cookies for very happy Leo Valdez.

"I will read next," said Katie, taking the book from Thalia.

"Chapter 2: Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death?" read Katie, puzzled by the bizarre title.


End file.
